As a parent or youth leader, have you ever felt discouraged or ill-equipped when attempting to talk to teenagers? If so, I’m sure you’ll relate and get a laugh out of this video . . .
Here are four things that I have found helpful when diving the depths of talking with teens:
- Unplug. Both of you have to unplug to accomplish any valuable communication. This means disconnecting from the iThis and iThat, putting the cell phone aware or turning it off, getting away from the television and/or computer. No meaningful or memorable conversation is going to happen when on or both parties are plugged in.
- Location. Where do you try to talk with teenagers? Related to the previous point, the home used to be a place for connecting, talking, and relating with family. Now, the world is in your living room, bedroom, kitchen, and even the bathroom with the advancement of technology. You need to find a place that is conducive to the conversation you want to have. Sometimes the kitchen table can serve as a good place. Sometimes, you may have to go outside. Coffee shops can be good if you’re unplugged. Regardless of where it is, you need to find the right location for significant communication to take place.
- Clarity. Make sure you are clear in what you are saying or in what you are trying to find out. Don’t beat around the bush; get straight to the point. I say this because of the attention span of teens, because of adult’s tendency to rely too much on abstract talk (I’m pretty bad at this myself) instead of concrete images, and because teens have an emergency-eject-from-conversation-device (especially with parents) if they feel you’re entering into deep, personal territory. So get to it quick; repeat; use concrete images; and pay attention to anything they say that isn’t “Dunno, yep, nope, sorta, No one, Nowhere.”
- Culture. Be a student of teen culture. You’ve got to enter their world; discern it; and then lead them into biblical truth. Walt Mueller over at http://www.cpyu.org does a terrific job of educating youth leaders and parents about teen culture. Visit his website weekly just to see what’s going on in the teen world because chances are—that’s where your kid is living. You can employ the things going on in teen culture to talk about the things that you know are important for your teen to know, believe, and cling to.
Have hope. Adolescence is weird because of the tumultuous development that is taking place. We’ve all been there and remember. Remain faithful, and remain in relationship with the teens in your life. Pray for them that they may be teens and become adults who love the Savior.
In Christ,
Rex
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